On July 8, 2011 I was so happy to have my best friend of 12 years standing next to me as I pledged my love to my high school sweetheart. And in October of 2012, I stood and watched her do the same.
Photo by Rebecca Franklin Photography
Sometimes choosing the bridal party is easy. And sometime it's not. A lot of times, family politics plays into it and a bride might feel guilted into a decision to keep everyone happy. Here are a couple tips from one bride to another:
Look for support - Planning a wedding can be a very stressful experience, because so much time and money goes into it. And some people make it more stressful, while others make it less stressful. Surround yourself with people who will give their honest opinion but ultimately support your decision.
Keep the peace - Sometimes you have to pick your battles. And if your future sister-in-law is going to be devastated if she's not a bridesmaid, it's probably best to ask her. Even if it will 'mess up' the bridesmaids and groomsmen number. It's so easy to get wrapped up in having the picture perfect wedding day and forget that it's a day to celebrate not just the joining of two lives, but the joining of two families. And if adding an extra bridesmaid will keep the peace, I'd recommend it.
Don't be demanding - Agreeing to be in someone's bridal party is a big expense and a big time commitment. So be gracious to your dearest friends. All of my bridesmaids were in college when I got married, so I knew they didn't have a lot of money to spend being in our wedding. I compromised on my wedding vision a bit to help my girls find a more affordable dress. Two of my bridesmaids lived 4 hours away, so I knew they wouldn't be able to come to my bridal shower or help me put together programs, and that was okay with me.
One more tip. Notice anything about my bridal party from the photo? Three girls and four guys. So what? Don't feel like you have to ask another person just to have even sides. Just ask who you want to ask.
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