Dear Girl Scouts, I heard a rumor that you're thinking of offering cookies more often than once a year. Let me just go ahead and tell you what a horrible idea that is. Your cookies are delicious but they're more expensive than just about every other cookie at the grocery store. If you're always available, people will choose something else. Your marketing technique is scarcity and it works for you. So don't change it.
Dear Instagram Stories, Are you ruining our memories? Are we going to all be upset in a year that we covered our photos and videos with text and sparkly filters and emojis? I mean, Darcy looks adorable with panda bear ears, but I can't do that for all of his photos.
Dear Sweet Potato Chips, You are so delicious. Why can't you also be healthier than regular chips so I can eat you every day?
Dear Wood Laminate, I am so disappointed that we were wooed by your charms and your promises of durability. I guess we should have assumed that with a gigantic fish tank and a hot water heater just a sheet of drywall away, you were eventually bound to get waterlogged.
Ryan Quote of the Week:
So that's only for Christmas trash can.
Photo from the CGP Stock Store