Monday Musings: Ryan Quotes Edition

I have a feeling that this post is going to be one of our most popular posts ever. You asked for it, and here it is. A post chock full of Ryan's quotes. In fact, these are all Ryan Quotes of the Week from 2016. All in their out-of-context glory. I don't even remember what some of these are about. Enjoy.

That dress is like a giant purple jellyfish.

It's like mistletoe. Come kiss me under the big sock. 

It's not my fault that you use my snacks as decoration!

If your pants were a person they'd be in a nursing home.

I don't have cargo pants. Where am I supposed to put all my cargo?

To be honest, I don't care how warm the toilet water is.

I don't want to jump into the tan abyss.

I like dead robot skin.

Caitlin: Exclamation point! Ryan: Glitter! Confetti! Estrogen!

Caitlin: I'm sorry I didn't text you any pictures. How did you make it through the work day? Ryan: I didn't. I had to Google pictures of other people's cats. 

You're two muffins away from being the crazy bread lady.

You have short legs. I just had to make sure you were motivated.

Whale sounds. DJ spin that Beluga.

These are the crucial times. We have to condition our baby to like ice cream.

Bruchetta is the meat I always think is a cheese, right?

Mind your own flakes.

Seriously, cat? This is not a gingerbread house.

Luigi is not amused.

You missed the ceremonial changing of the houses.

The glare bears are just too strong.

That's because Vikings don't use Twitter.

That's where he keeps the extra headbands.

I don't need jogger sweat on my car. 

You're a walking pregnant scentsy candle.

Let's name our kid after a state with nothing in it.

Oh, we have a sophisticated cat. She plays golf and tennis.

What color is parson brown?

Or maybe he has a 3 week old reindeer and just needs sleep. 

Photo: CGP Stock