Dear Baby Clothing Designers, Who decides that cats are for girls and dogs are for boys and that elephants and owls are the only gender neutral animals? Because that doesn't really make any sense to me.
Dear Letter Carrier, Maybe the reason something was put in one of your cardboard mailers was to protect the papers inside. So don't cram it in my mailbox ok? (No wedding invitations were harmed in the making of this post.)
Dear Light Bulbs, I get that the trendy thing to do is to flicker, but Ryan is tired of changing you one at a time, room by room. Can you just coordinate one day a year for all of you to start flickering at once? It would be much more efficient for us.
Dear Leggings, I think your tiny little slit of a pocket is supposed to be for my ID or a gym locker key, but let's be real... half the time I'm wearing leggings at home, so it's for my Chapstick.
Dear Lettuce-Leaf-Sized Basil, You are a show-off.
Ryan Quote of the Week:
No. I can state that with more negatives.